Heartache
by PanicEndPanic
Summary: Yukimura, having confessed to his love, does not recieve an answer back immediately. He later does-but it's said in a way that doesn't exactly make him happy. /lame summary Pairing: KanouxYukimura; hinted UsuixYukimura.  YEAH BL AND SUCH  OH SNAP.
1. Just A Prologue

It hurt…

As Yukimura stood there, that's all he thought. Of how much it hurt. A hollow ache was growing in his chest as tears were brought forth, salty droplets that bore all of the agonizing sadness that was accumulating terribly fast in the new space.

He was silent, for he had nothing to say. He wouldn't beg. He wouldn't yell out in a surprised rage. He would, though, cry quietly as his body kept in a stiff, locked position. He couldn't move—but he didn't want to. He wanted to be left there, standing in a panel of light cast by the sun; the only thing that would see his tears.

The thing that had had driven a knife into his soul had already turned and walked away, saying nothing else. Not even a goodbye.


	2. Chapter One: Pillar

_**Chapter One: Pillar**_

**Sorry their personalities are all...off. I had to make "minor" adjustments...**

**Oh, and I don't own Maid-Sama! :P**

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"Yukimura?"

"…"

"Yukimura!"

"…yes?" The male being addressed slowly lifted his head, seeing the president staring at him. The expression she sported was a worried one—that which was not unlike the questioning face of a mother.

"Are you okay? You don't usually space out that bad."

Yukimura sighed quietly, his golden eyes darting off to the side. Nipping lightly at the back of his lips, he shook his head, "I'm fine…"

Misaki suspiciously eyed him for a moment, before letting out a large, feminine groan, a hand resting on her hip as the other ruffled at her hair. "Everyone's acting weird! Usui's gone moreso than he already is. You're down in the dumps. Kanou's acting off, too. And same with the idiots!" A loud chime of her own laughter interrupted her, "Maybe it's something in the air! It's throwing all the guys off!"

Yukimura watched her, a tiny smile on his lips. He knew she was trying to comfort him, and that made him feel a little better. But, at the same time, the edges of the wound that was still in his heart stung achingly.

/ / / / /

"Yukimura."

The navy-haired boy huffed out a small grunt, his patience running thin suddenly, as he stopped in the hallway. Why wouldn't anyone leave him alone?

"_Yukimura._"

The tone of the voice made him go rigid, his muscles stopping to refuse him the option of running away.

"Y-yes?"

"You're worrying Misaki."

"Yes…"

"Stop doing that."

"…Yes."

He shuddered when he heard the footsteps walking away. Feeling the heat rising in his face, he turned abruptly and ran into the nearest, empty classroom. Closing it and pressing himself against it, he allowed his tears to run.

"Y-you could…at _least_…be a little nicer about it…" He had, in fact, had his love crumpled like a piece of unworthy paper.

/ / / / /

"Yukimura."

"Leave me alone."

There was a shocked pause, before a tentative, inquiring sentence broke his defenses all too quickly. "...You were hurt, right? I saw."

With his head swirling, he lifted his gaze. Kanou was the one in front of him, looking almost embarrassed to be talking about it. "You dove into that classroom. I heard you crying. Uhm, if it helps, I think he shouldn't have been so rude about it. He should have been gentler. But you know Usui…"

Yukimura felt a sharp pang at the name, wincing as a small wail rose in his throat, causing the hypnotist to startle.

"_Wh-why_ _though?_ I didn't mean—I didn't_ want_—"

"Yukimura." This time, his own name didn't elicit any ill emotions. The softness of it was enough to surprise him into silence, and cause him to calm even if it were for just a heartbeat. And if that weren't enough to satisfy, Kanou moved forward to wrap his arms tightly around him. For many breaths, they stayed quiet, like that. The rabbit then pulled away, holding the smaller at arm's length. "I'll be a pillar. So you don't need to stand alone. I'll support you."

Yukimura lifted his hands to smear away the rain of teardrops from his face, his mouth trembling as his lips pressed together to retain the whimpers. But they resounded in his throat anyway, making Kanou smile softly, his appearance soothing.

"Surely…you must be hypnotizing me."


	3. Chapter Two: Avoidance

_**Chapter Two:**_** Avoidance**

**Okay, I really apologize. I (as well as many other people, I've noticed) write in a form that's sort of hard to…explain. I write in third-person, but, the reader gets descriptions of emotions in a first-person sort of way—from one character. And, sometimes, I just change the person you get the reading experience from…**

**During this, it switched to Kanou's POV—but it's not his, either, because it's still in third person…**

**Which is why it's hard to explain. It is not in Kanou's POV, but it is. e_e;;**

**I'm really sorry! OTL (I'll tell you when it switches…)**

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Yukimura set down the paper's on Misaki's desk as he had done before. She looked up from the paperwork in her hand, studied his face, before smiling.

"All better now?"

"Ah, yes… I was just feeling a little sick yesterday."

Misaki's smile widened, as she sang at him, "If you aren't feeling well, you don't have to come! Even if you stay home a few days, you still help more than _Usui._"

He felt his heart skip a beat as he sucked in a minute gasp, having not expected that. There was that hollow feeling again, that widened and enveloped his stomach in a grasp that made him hold his breath.

To recover from this, he coughed, adding a fake giggle. "I apologize. I think I might be getting a cold…" He cleared his throat, stepping away with a small bow to excuse himself, before exiting the classroom.

/ / / / /

"My head hurts."

"Why?"

"I'm not sure."

"It's probably stress."

Yukimura sighed at the response, his hands pressed against his head. He stared down, past his elbows that were resting on his knees, to the ground. He inwardly thanked the dirt for its sturdy ways, always there beneath him. Just to ruin that pure thought, he added, _Too bad you stay just as hard when I fall_.

"Maybe you should take some medicine or something."

"I don't want to…"

Kanou's face contorted at that, almost confused. "Wanna hang out after school? We can do something to take your mind off of…the stress."

_(This is where the switch is.)_

The hypnotist watched as his friend's lips curled in the slightest, barely upturning the corners. "…okay."

/ / / / /

The rabbit of Seika High School kept himself close to Yukimura, finding shelter in the smaller's presence. Despite wanting to lead for this distressed Yukimura, he ended up following instead—for there were far too many people on the sidewalks this day.

"Yukimura… Sorry."

"It's okay."

Kanou frowned to himself, as the male in front of him continued to walk forward, his steps empty and aimless.

"Let's go to the video game store. Or a place with food," Pushing his glasses back to their appropriate place, he mumbled, hoping to enlighten Yukimura's mood.

"I do want some food… Where shall we go?"

"There's a really ni—"

Kanou's sentence was cut from his lips in mid-word when his wary eyes fell upon a messy-haired Usui. His own uninterested eyes were angled forward, and though they were locked on the familiar pair, he showed no signal of having seen them.

Hastily, the rabbit grabbed Yukimura, burying the other's face into his chest to shield him from the sight.

"J-…just stay like this for a second, okay?"

He chewed on his tongue in anticipation as the enemy continued to walk closer, closing the distance.

But that wasn't the only thing closing the distance.

As Usui took every step closer, Yukimura's heartbeat kept in tempo, and supplied his arms with the ability to lift…

…and then grab at the back of Kanou's shirt…

Kanou angled his head down when he felt the feminine boy press closer, nuzzling against the warmth of his torso.

For a moment, the world dissipated into the particles of nothingness, leaving both boys clinging to each other. Their chests felt congested with an emotion neither of them wished to put words to, their minds melting into a state of vacuity where they felt lost yet at home.

All of that was shattered, slicing over Kanou's skin when Yukimura spoke those innocent little words.

"Is…is he gone yet?"


	4. Chapter Three: The Melody of Sobs

**Chapter Three: **_**The Melody of Sobs**_

**I hadn't written in a while when I started this thing (maybe...a year and a few months or so?). Writing this makes me remember how much I like to write. **

**(T u T;;)**

**I was gonna make this one about Usui, but then my head wouldn't think right, and I couldn't fit it like I wanted to.  
So here, have some tears and "late"-night calls to read instead. (That is, until I finish this cello thing I have coming up... /rushrush)**

**I LOVE YOU GUYS! X v X /runs off to sleep**

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Yukimura nestled his head against the pillow he kept in his arms. The cold fluff of it complied with his heaving stomach, allowing itself to be squished between his knees and his abdomen. Tears stained the white covering as half-suppressed whines and moans struggled out from his chest. He tightened his jaw, biting at his lips at one point to then lock his teeth together; all in an attempt to strangle the sounds—to push them back down his throat. It worked not, making the whimpers more drawn out and high-pitched than before.

Pathetic.

He sniffled, trying to stop his nose from running so much.

That didn't work either.

His lips pulled back to expose his teeth at a particularly heart-wrenched sob, clutching the pillow tightly as he stared, agonized, into the blur created by those tears. His room looked vague and unfamiliar. The darkness that illuminated nothing and left everything in a shadowed veil was comforting only because it hid him from his own weakness. But at the same time, it almost felt as if it rolled his noise into a little sound-envelope and sent them off to places unknown. And that made him uncomfortable.

He moved when his chest expanded, wanting more air. Still hugging the pillow, he fell onto his side, allowing his legs to sprawl out and his arms to loosen. For a moment he felt hollow, before everything rushed back. Feeling weak with his sadness, he feebly lifted his arm, reaching across his bed to his phone which lay silently on the crumpled sheets.

He pressed whatever buttons his fingers hovered over.

/ / / / /

" 'Yukimura'?" Kanou rubbed his eyes, staring down at his phone display that called forth a dim white light, blinding him in the night of his room.

Sleepily, he pressed the 'answer' button, gurgling out a half-hearted 'hello' as his shoulders slumped and his head leaned against the oddly steel-like feeling of the communication device.

"_K-Kanou…? Are you awake?_"

"Hmm… I am now…"

"_Oh, sorry. How late is it?_"

"Look at your clock."

"_Just tell me._"

"Two thirty-four in the morning."

"_Oh… I didn't want to believe it was that late._"

"Does your clock lie to you often?" He attempted to make a light-hearted joke, to soften the distanced awkward atmosphere. He then noticed the tone Yukimura spoke with, and knew that then wasn't the time.

"Are you okay?"

"…"

"Yukimura?"

He heard shuffling on the other side of the line, causing him to straighten in worried curiosity.

"…_I'm fine._"

"You're lying."

"_N-no… I'm not…"_

"You are."

"…" A shaky sigh. "_…I am._"

Kanou hesitated, not knowing what to say. His breath hung in his throat for a moment, before exiting in an audible exhale.

"Do you want me to come over?"

"_No! I don't know why I called… I'm sorry. Go back to sleep._"

_Click._

Kanou pulled the phone away from his ear, scowling down at the "Call Ended" message. He cursed quietly, falling back onto his trustworthy pillows. He sighed again as his head sunk into the plush, finding sleep gripping at him again. He lifted his phone up, staring at it, willing Yukimura to call again.

When he didn't for five minutes, Kanou let his arm drop like lead. He waited another ten, and still no sign._ I don't like this,_ he thought to himself, a yawn prying open his jaws.

He continued to wait until he unconsciously closed his eyelids and slept.

/ / / / /

"Yukimura." Kanou raised his hand, greeting the feminine boy.

"…Kanou…" He turned his eyes away but nodded slightly to greet back.

The rabbit frowned at this, not liking how the other's voice was more quiet than usual.

"Are you okay?"

He watched as Yukimura hung his head a little lower, that itty-bitty pitiful smile that everyone knew played out on his face.

"…okay." Was all Kanou said, his mouth tugged to one side in a bit of a frown, before he smiled knowingly (though he _knew_ not of the tinge of despondency with it), trying to coddle the other without making contact. "I won't ask again."

Yukimura's eyes turned to him finally, their emotion hidden. There was a larger mix of feelings in the frothing stillness of gold, but it was somehow more listless.


	5. Chapter Four: Questions

**Chapter Four: **_**Questions**_

**This chapter is written right after the other—and within this chapter is a kiss scene. It won't go further than heated kisses (lol) unless I decide to bump up this rating and add a little lemon. n_n Yes, yes?**

**BY THE WAY. THANK YOU ALL FOR THE REVIEWS. No matter the number, they always make me happy! **

**They're like presents, only better. TT/ / w / /TT**

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"Yukimura!" Misaki called, looking fully awake and ready for school. Usui followed her, staring at the back of her head, with a small, knowing smile.

"Ahh—" The smallest male of the group responded to his name, but the words that were ready to leap from his mouth fell dead on the back of his tongue. He had spotted Usui, Kanou knew, and hadn't taken that too well. "…good morning."

The rabbit took this moment to step forward, managing to shift partly in front of Yukimura, finding wisps of enraged flames created by the distasteful embers in his stomach licking at the inside of his chest. "We—have to run an errand quickly. Excuse us."

With one last parting glare at Usui, he turned and grabbed Yukimura's wrist, rushing away from the surprised, but nodding, Misaki. She lifted her hand to wave, wondering about the errand—had they been assigned it yesterday or something?—before yelping when the blonde behind her boldly latched onto her wrist.

Tugging her towards the school, he chuckled, "Can't have them outshining us, now can we?"

"_Wh-what!_"

/ / / / /

"Yukimura… I—"

"I can't keep avoiding him, Kanou…"

He lowered his head at the other's interruptive sentence, knowing it was true nevertheless. The emotion continued to swirl in his torso, that fire becoming stifling, cloudy waters, which caused him to clench his fists helplessly. Inhaling deeply, he calmed himself while readying his voice.

"Answer me this, at least: what is the first thing you felt when you saw him just now?"

"I didn't."

"You didn't feel anything?"

Yukimura nodded, gripping at the front hem of his shirt with one hand, and then the fabric over his heart with the other. "I saw him, and I felt that hollow feeling…" His eyes began to well up with earnest tears, his voice cracking as his throat tightened. "It hurts because I can't feel anything. It hurts so much…" Sobs forced his chest to heave, those tears pouring freely down his reddening face. His grip was painfully tight on his shirt, but he couldn't let go; it felt as if holding onto that thin cloth would keep him together in one way or another.

But Kanou could see it didn't help keep _anything_ composed. The portrait of the boy, now weeping into the back of one of his hands as the other tugged pitifully at his uniform, made his own throat clench guiltily. His eyes lowered, the sounds of the other causing his own eyes to burn in warning of teardrops.

He wanted it to stop.

He didn't want Yukimura to feel _anything_ bad—including the nothing he had said before. He wanted the feminine boy to not notice the blonde in any way; he wanted this blue-haired, weak-hearted, golden-eyed, innocently tender, little being of vulnerability to get harassed as he always did, and come running to the hypnotist _as he always did_.

He wanted Yukimura to love_ him_.

In an almost stupidly desperate act to comfort the other—as well as himself—Kanou pinned him to the wall, slamming his hand into it with a loud '_bang_'. Startled, Yukimura gasped, momentarily stopping his crying.

And that's when Kanou took the risk.

"I know I'm not Usui, but…" He leaned forward abruptly, gently brushing their lips together. Sensing the stunned shiver from the other, he pressed a little harder, pleased by the softness of the other's lips and the reactions being elicited.

"Kan—sto—" The hypnotist pulled away, his eyes deep and full of emotion. His stare froze Yukimura, the silent plea making him weak. With large gold eyes, he stared back at him, waiting in a dizzied state.

Kanou went back for another kiss, deepening it in the tiniest bit. His body pushed Yukimura's against the wall unconsciously as their lips met again and again, to be joined tentatively by their tongues. Heat rose between them as their kisses, as affectionate and light as they were, became more compassionate.

"Yukimura… Forget about him." His command was but a whisper, his head still close enough to allow their breaths to mix and mingle below their noses. "Think nothing of him."

Placidly, he leaned his head onto Yukimura's shoulder, sighing.

The boy mentioned felt the blood pulsing in his lips, pushed onward by his heartbeat. His whole body seemed to beat with it, as heat rose in his face. With timid, shaking, hands he reached up to hug the bigger form, aware of the stuffy feeling in his chest.

"I…can't."

_Just yet_.

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**Ohhh! :O**


	6. Chapter Five: Remorse

_**Chapter Five:**_** Remorse**

**Well, I decided to let all of you decide~**

**An extra chapter now? Or a sequel w/ an extra chapter? Or both? (This helps determine the lemon thing….)**

**What is of your desires? (Don't hold back. I don't have a workload, so I've nothing to do. At all. -_-)**

**Also, ha ha. This shower scene was **_**so**_** tempting. :D**

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Kanou, leaning over the edge of his bathroom's sink, gripped the edges of the counter-top tightly. The steam felt odd when he inhaled, seeming to moisten his throat further. He sighed.

A sick feeling stirred in his stomach, making him turn on the faucet, to then fill his hands with the running water and splash it over his face. He felt so…guilty. Ashamed. As if he had just soiled something so innocent. Looking up to his face in the mirror, he scowled, finding that it look the same as before (with the shadows of his ill emotions, of course). No creepy sign of "PERVERT WHO _TAKES ADVANTAGE_ OF HIS FRIENDS WHEN THEY'RE HEARTBROKEN" that he felt he wore all over his skin.

"Ugh…" He groaned, scooping up more water to dip his face into, blowing bubbles in frustration.

Lifting his head, he allowed the water to drip from his face.

He had…just been out of his right mind? Yeah, yeah. He was just tired of Usui affecting his friend so much, and decided to…help him _focus on something else_.

The hypnotist slid his shirt off (which, mind you, seemed reluctant to release him, as it was clinging to his skin with the help of the steam, but, we can't blame it, now can we?), before unbuttoning his pants and—

—jumping at the vibration of his phone. He snatched it from the front pocket of the jeans he was wearing and looked at the screen with a lightly exasperated expression, which then melted into a slightly-blushing-and-somewhat-agonized pursing of the lips.

The text read: _Sorry…_

Kanou let his shoulders slump as he sighed again, backing up to the wall before sitting against it. With one hand buried in his hair, he typed up his reply: _You shouldn't be apologizing; it's not your fault._

He sent it before pressing the button for Yukimura's speed-dial, pressing the ringing phone against his ear. It was a little startling to Kanou when he was sent to voice mail after a few hums. His friend must've hit 'Ignore'.

This caused a little twang of hurt emotion to thump through his heart; and for a moment or two, he sat in silence, surprised by that feeling.

It…hurt.

Absent-mindedly, he nuzzled the forearm that rested on his propped-up knee, dread swirling and assimilating with his blood in his veins. The constant rainfall of hot water from the shower-head lulled him into a blank state, seeming to sob for him.

/ / / / /

Yukimura brought his knees further to his chest, hugging that precious pillow as he pressed against the wall. He stared at the screen of the cell phone with woe-filled eyes, his thumb on the red button and his teeth gnawing on the inside of his mouth.

He didn't want to talk, but he did feel sorry. Kanou didn't have to reply—in fact, replying only made him feel worse… The boy had known that his friend would feel guilty for that…_kiss_…but he…wasn't exactly worried about it.

As much as he really did sincerely and utterly adore his friend, he still felt an almost commitment-like love for the blonde heart-throb of Seika High School. _It hurts me too, you know. _He thought to himself, with depressed conviction_. Seeing him hurts and being around you hurts, too._

It made him feel _terrible_. No, _worse_ than terrible. If Terrible and Horrible had a baby and _that_ baby grew up to fall in love with Miserable and _they_ had a baby it _still_ wouldn't create a word that described how _despicable_ he felt. He knew that Kanou liked him in that way—though, he hadn't said anything because that would be awkward and he wasn't exactly up for such…conversations about friend-barriers and codes and the like. But, disregarding that, he had known. He was aware.

…simply, he knew it hurt Kanou to be around the one he loved, who loved someone else—because he, too, had been there. He also knew it hurt to be denied like this; to have an unrequited love.

And going back to that past comment, if Kanou hadn't crossed the line of friendship—if he didn't love him—then none of this event would have happened! Kanou would have helped him as a friend would have, and then Yukimura would get over it so, so slowly, without having to worry about dealing the very same pain he felt.

Brushing away the tears that welled in his eyes, he held his breath before letting it burst out in a shaky, thin puff of air.

He couldn't decide.

He wanted to blame it on Kanou, somehow, but he knew it was entirely his fault, and that blaming it on his innocent, love-struck friend was an even worse deed. Maybe…things would work out…?

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**Ah, this one flew by. I don't know why, but this chapter was SO easy to write.**

…**But that heightens the risk of mistakes.**

**Also, I don't proof-read anything. :D So, sorry for any mistakes I've made/are making/am going to make~**


	7. Chapter Six: Glass

**I made the error of saying that Kanou was the older one... He's taller, so that threw my mind into saying he was older, when I was typing. Sorry! My mistake~ Thank you for pointing that out, Oz~**

**I think I fixed it; but tell me if I missed anything else. And please continue to bring up anything I miss, because I will make silly mistakes. Often. xD**

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**Chapter Six:**_** Glass**_

**OMG, thank you all for the reviews! They make me so unbelievably happy! They're all **_**so darn sweet!**__**Arrgh!**_** If I could find you all and turn you into kittens I'd keep you in my house and loooooove you and feeeeed you and bruuuush you~ Only it wouldn't be as creepy as that sounds because you'd all be cute little mewling kittens. :D (That means I'm really very, **_**very**_**, grateful for them!)**

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"…"

The usual greetings passed between the hypnotist and feminine boy were absent this morning, and were still nowhere to be found throughout the day. They rarely talked about anything not related to tasks at school, though they did hang out as they usually did. It felt awkward, but neither of them had the will to ignore the other completely.

When time came to part ways, they stared at each other.

Kanou, taking the reins, suddenly managed to blurt out, "I'm sorry for what I did—but, don't be mad at me, I—"

"It's okay, Kanou." Yukimura replied softly, shifting his weight a little uncomfortably. "I'm not mad at you."

With that, he waved his good-bye, before taking his leave.

The taller male was left standing there, not exactly sure what to think about that. Did…that mean he had another chance?

/ / / / /

That night, after getting everything he needed done, Yukimura slept, and—for a lack of a better word—'dreamt'. The dream he experienced was that of a tormenting nightmare that horrified him and pained him as it dug its black claws into his healing emotional wounds.

"_I can't say I'm flattered…"_

Tears were building.

"…_because this is annoying…"_

His heart was dropping.

"…_but it is somewhat my fault for using you—teasing you—to get Misaki jealous…"_

Hands; trembling.

"_But, even more so, I like Misaki, and only her._"

Now tears were flowing, eyes wide.

"_And I will never accept you."_

The rush of humiliation and that large throbbing ache that ran in before screeching to a halt in his chest was too overwhelming.

It hurt…

That hollow feeling made him tear up and let out a breathless sob—but that was it, no more sounds as he stood there, occupying the now empty hallway. No, he was silently crying, unmoving, drowning in sorrows.

The next move of the dream was abrupt. As Yukimura stood there, Kanou appeared, his stance as it always was, his head upright and his eyes directed at the tear-eyed boy. But…something wasn't right.

He held something tightly clutched in hand, while something else—a byproduct, maybe?—oozed from between his fingers. The feminine student's own shaking hand went up to his mouth as his breath caught in his throat, stepping back as Kanou stepped forward. Whatever it was, it was hidden by the sun that was nearly set, but danced over the horizon to constantly cover it in a shadow from the window's panel.

Another step forward was met with another step back.

And again,

And again,

And again.

Until Kanou just stopped with an oddly doleful expression on his face. Slowly, _ever so slowly_, _inch by inch,_ his arm lifted, moving to expose the object in his grip.

"Is…this yours?"

—and instantaneously, Yukimura was awake, lying in his bed, with his chest heaving and his hair sticking to the sweat on his face.

It was…a heart. A heart that was weakly beating, scarred by a ghastly cut.

An instinctive worry triggered his hand to shoot up to grab at his chest, making him look for any wounds, only to find that everything was intact. He was…fine, to a physical degree (but, that would be lying to another degree, as well).

"…" Feeling lost for just a tiny span of time, he reached to his bedside table, and picked up his phone. "…Kanou." Tenderly, he laid it against his chest, snuggling deeper into the blankets that had warmed with his body's heat.

Yukimura waited there; tracking the time by how many times his chest rose and fell. It was only about eleven until the icky feeling of his sweaty body made him sit up again, shakily making his way to his bathroom to wet a rag and rub it over it face and neck.

"What an unsettling dream," he huffed, wiping the countertop before leaning forward to press his forehead against it. It fogged with his breath, before the misty covering was inhaled by the boy once again.

As burdens shuffled awake in his chest, he found himself listening to the faint sound of a low vibration. He thought, _What could that be?_ And continued to question it.

Until it dawned on him that it was his phone.

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**Ha ha, random, weird, dream.**

**This took a little while longer, because my school started up again. My Mid-terms are next week, just to let everyone know, but I should keep up the same pace. I also have some cello things coming up, so that will hinder my time… But I'll try my best at getting chapters out!**

**Also, if the chapter names seem off or unrelated, it's because A) I don't think when I name, I just kind of name, and B) I'm also very deep about things, so the meanings are hidden. :D So, it really depends...**


	8. Chapter Seven: Unanswered

**Chapter Seven: Unanswered **

**I drew all over my midterms and left little notes for my teachers. Mission complete.**

**Oh, and, I'm sorry if it doesn't flow right and/or feels rushed. I wrote the parts at different times…and it's shorter than usual, because I wanted it to end on **_**that note down there at the end of the story. **_**/tease~

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Yukimura pressed his phone to his lips, feeling it vibrate and ring against them. He hummed in reply, the sound hitching as he struggled to keep down his other whimpers. He shook, not at all knowing what he should do…

Yet, on a rushed, thoughtless, whim, his harshly trembling finger slammed down on the 'answer' button, before nearly smacking himself in the face in an attempt to hurriedly press the device against his ear.

But no voice sounded.

He pulled it away, looking at the screen to see the '_Missed Call_' message that made all of his recklessly gathered courage split into miniscule particles smaller than atoms.

Frowning, he collapsed onto his bed, holding his breath so his lungs could acquire as much oxygen as possible, before letting it out, slowly. His head spun.

That dastardly little phone vibrated again, and this time, Yukimura darted to sit up and answer, yelling, "_Hello?_"

But still no voice.

A bewildered mask took over his face as he glanced at the screen.

'_One New Voicemail_'.

…shoot.

Slightly set on edge by curiosity and worry, he selected the button that allowed him to hear what was left. It was the voice he had wanted to hear this night, and that alone was enough to let his heart ease into a comfortable position, dragging his awareness down with it.

Oh, it was so nice…

Yukimura startled back into reality, noticing that he had reveled in the voice so much that he hadn't gathered what words were being said. So, blushing and scolding himself, he repeated the voicemail.

"…_Yukimura, you probably just don't want to talk to me, and that's okay, I guess…and I know you said you weren't mad…_

_But…_

_I-I love you, so please don't be…distant like that…with me. I feel terrible… I'll… behave…_

_So don't act like that. Tell me and I'll leave,_

_Because I know it's probably weird to be around someone like me, and I don't…_

_Ever want you to feel uncomfortable in anyway._"

Honestly, Yukimura should have dropped the phone, because his muscles were weakening with the burden of sadness, but he somehow managed to gather himself together; all because of a resolution.

This time, he was going to confront Kanou about it.

/ / / / /

Morning came, and Yukimura as always met up with Kanou, who seemed to be avoiding eye contact when their paths merged.

"Kanou!" He called, his voice strong. This sharp snap caused the rabbit to jolt in surprise, his eyes shooting up to meet the gold ones.

"Yes…?"

"I'm not mad!" Yukimura found himself with a raised voice, knowing that if he were to lower the volume his voice would recede and hide in his throat—but he wasn't going to allow that to happen. "I'm not mad, I don't hate you, I'm not uncomfortable around you, either!"

He swallowed, readying himself, "I'm only uncomfortable around Usui—and that'll change. Give me time, and I'll get over it."

Quivering, he added as his chest was filled with emotion, "And don't you dare ever mention leaving again! If…if you ever leave me…"

When Yukimura's sentence broke under a heavy gasp, Kanou stepped forward, hugging the other as if letting him go would cause them both to be swallowed up by quicksand.

"You don't hate me? Even after what I did?"

"No… I think… I may just… l-love you."

* * *

**...I have to keep reminding myself that this isn't an M story… . / / / . ;;**

**But, this story is ending sometimes soon... I think I need to start coming up with another story... I have a lemon one-shot already typed out, but it's holidayrific, therefore I could upload it if desired-unless everyone wants to wait for Christmas again. Hee hee... Any other ideas of what I should write?  
**


	9. Chapter Eight: End

_...so, uh, yeah. There's not really an excuse for taking so long... Though I feel terrible for doing so. I tend to do that—binge write and then get hit with a block, I mean—so...maybe I should have said that earlier..._

_I'm so sorry!_

Kanou felt his head go light, leaving him feeling dizzy.

No way.

_No way._

He didn't just say _that_.

But...he did. He _did_.

He...did.

Emotions that he had suppressed in an attempt to make him seem like someone Yukimura could always lean on tugged at their chains with renewed strength, seeping out from that dark pit to sting at his organs. As he was unable to keep them restrained any more, he allowed them to burst forward, his arms quickly circling around the smaller frame.

Kanou's knees weakened and then buckled, and still he refused to release the boy; thus, he dragged him down, pulling him into his lap to hug him all the tighter.

"I love you, I love you, _I love you_," He said, his own voice weak but elated and relieved and grateful and adoring and...just _lovely_. The notes on his voice were the embodiment of _love_, as much as they cracked or came out at the wrong pitch. It was beautiful to Yukimura, and the way it rang brought huge globs of salty formations concocted of guilt and unconditional affection to the 'windows of his soul'.

The boy allowed little whimpered sobs to float out as tiny, butterfly kisses were applied along his throat. He was painfully aware of how the lips doing the job shook timidly, of how the rare exhales were shuddering, of how that mouth would sometimes pause, pulled terse over the skin, as a warm liquid spilled and leaked between them.

Yukimura knew of those silent tears, which only tore at his heartstrings more.

"I'm sorry," Was cried in reply.

It was ignored. "I love you."

"I'm _sorry_..."

"I love you."

Beside them stood Misaki and Usui. The president watched them with a motherly expression, her hand secretly held by Usui who kept his place close to her—both of them gave looks that said "don't disturb them, please" to the students that had arrived late to school. Once no others were in sight, Misaki shoved lightly at the blonde, before turning to head to the building, a large grin on her face. The one being commanded turned to head back with her, but he hesitated... Quickly throwing a glance over his shoulder, and despite knowing it wouldn't be noticed, he mouthed:

'_Sorry. And, you're welcome._'

/ / / / /

Months passed, and now that Kanou had announced his and Yukimura's new-found relationship, that had been established a week earlier, the boy was left less harassed... Though what had dwindled in the public was replaced by Kanou's own type of harassment. The hypnotist found that absolutely adored kissing his lover on the forehead (whilst holding hands, of course), and left no opportunity to do so unfulfilled. It mattered not if they were in school, or at a restaurant, or at each other's houses... And, though he would never admit it, he found that he particularly liked giving those forehead kisses after gym, when Yukimura's skin was tangy with sweat.

What Yukimura would never admit was that he greatly fancied those kisses, and that he was happiest when Kanou carried him around. When he was lifted from the ground, and carried like a child, he had plenty of access to the warm, soft, tender, vulnerable piece of shoulder-flesh that laid so close to the base of the neck—to his pulse. He regularly indulged in asking to be carried like that just so he could get a whiff at his darling's scent, and feel that beating, and nuzzle against the warmth of the place that was better than the best pillow. Of course, Kanou would more often than not agree, as long as he got a treat for it (which was always a gentle kiss on the lips).

"I love you" is what Kanou always manages to say, everyday. Multiple times, and, of course, at the utterly perfect moments.

And by then Yukimura is so awestruck that he can only admire him for a long moment before a quiet "I love you, too" is whispered back.

_So, yeah... I'm sorry this ended so _bad_. If no one likes it, I can rewrite it again, when I get over this block. I just tried to get this out so you guys wouldn't think that I died, or abandoned this forever, or something. Orz;;_

_I could always write something about their "firsts" on a different story, so this one doesn't go M (while that one will be) to make up for this lameness. :D;;_


End file.
